POSITIVITY:
Positivity – not a word often associated with my endocrinology appointments.
I attended the Consultants yesterday afternoon after spending the morning trying to unknot my stomach and put my mind at rest about the past three months. Three months I would love to forget but what turned out to be, in a twisted turn, the best three months of management since March 2012.
REFRESHING:
Once again, running an hour late as usual, I was called in to see the resident Registrar.
Really, what would it take to see the main man at these appointments? I was irritated, yet again I was palmed off onto a Registrar who had no idea of my past or present and who I will more than likely not see again in the future. So, with this in my mind, I entered the room feeling condemned to a “telling off”, a few stern looks of disapproval and another appointment for 12 months’ time ringing in my ears.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. Nor so glad of being so wrong!
“Once in a while someone amazing comes along –and here I am!” – Tigger
This complete stranger, this professional, started our meeting with a question: “How are you?” *cue tear filled eyes* – that was all it took, someone to simply ask how I was.
Unfortunately for him, I wasn’t good. I had sat all morning worrying about this meeting, going over and over an imaginary argument with my Consultant about my feelings, management and lack of support.
Roll on a salty tissue (me) and a smile (him) later and he was analysing my graphs, my meter and my state of mind. I spoke through how I felt at a loss and a dead end, what I had done since I was last seen and my decision to go on a “pump break”. He kept his replies short “I understand” so as to not interrupt my flow, but you know what? I truly think he did “understand”.
We looked for patterns (there are none), we looked for common factors and we sat and sat and sat whilst he number crunched and I watched.
THE MISSING LINK:
I’ll start by just saying, I don’t know what the missing link is yet. Neither does the Registrar and nor does the DSN. But one thing we all DO know is that there is one. That, is a certainty.
The Registrar believes there is a link, something we have missed up until now, that is causing my BG’s to rollercoaster without any obvious origin. Despite trying the pump, trying MDI and adding in Metformin and Victoza my management remains unpredictable for the majority of the time and trust me I am not one for shying away from taking a leap of faith and titrating my doses.
It was refreshing for a professional, other than my brilliant DSN, to LISTEN and BELIEVE me… to take in what I am telling them and reassure me I am doing the right things.
One sentence that was said yesterday really stands out for me:
“Do not become stressed and upset, as you are, there are ALWAYS solutions. Always”.
So, the plan? To be seen by a Consultant in 4 months’ time, to be contacted and in regular contact with my DSN (2-weekly maybe) and to work as a team. We will get there together and after leaving the appointment, I do now have confidence in that, this was the gift of positivity.
I wish he could stay.
By the way, that twist in my blood work? My A1C results are lowest they have been in what seems forever!
“I am so happy I could bounce!” – Tigger
Image from Parkeology.com
